Devrinator's Journal

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03 January 2012

It's really easy for women to over eat. Logging my calories, I find myself surprised at the bits of things I bite that I've fed to the toddlers. My husband is a relatively slim, very tall, a bit younger guy, who weighs slightly more than I do. It would be crazy for me to eat what he eats. To eat what the toddlers eat? My picky 10 year old?

I know toddlers don't eat 2000 calories a day, but they can use the cheese and carbs. One of them is considered "at risk to be underweight!" I've been told to let him have the butter and cheese!

For my desired weight, I'll have to maintain about 1200 to 1500 calories a day. I feel a wee bit deprived on 1800 calories. I'm also exercising a bit. No breakfast, no caloric drinks, no sugar, no mayonnaise, whole wheat bread, lots of veggies, low calorie gelatin, and soup...

The tough part comes when we go to my mom's house, and she' got that seductively smelling cheesy potatoes for "everyone" to eat, or my husband finds a good price on a nice London Broil. I think I'm a volume eater. I'm good when it's just the veggies, but I'm not one to say, "Well, let me have an itty bitty taste of that piece of food that makes my whole body convulse in anticipation of eating it." If I eat something, I need more than a mouse bite of it.

I've noticed that there is a large round of folks who can eat a lot more calories than most of us women. There are teens, young adults, men, active men, athletes. For us moms who walk, garden, chase kids, but are normal height, we don't need much more than 1500 calories...which, unless you are purposely eating "diet" breads, skipping salad dressings all together, and exercising for two hours a day, is extremely difficult with a house full of people who have vastly different dietary needs than you have!

It doesn't seem like normal people eat diet foods and skimp on things. Normal people eat a turkey sandwich with a slice of cheese, and a little mayo for lunch. Normal people eat a small bowl of cereal for breakfast with a fruit or some fruit juice. Normal people eat a baked potato, a hunk of meat, and some buttered veggies for dinner. Normal people will often eat a piece of bread or a dinner roll with that. Normal people will eat some yogurt or some fruit with cottage cheese for dessert. For some of us, that day sounds like a diet, but it isn't. It's a recipe for being over weight. It's a recipe for someone my height wearing a size 14.

Size 14 is the size of the fat suit that the character Monica wore in the show Friends when she acted like she couldn't resist stuffing chocolate cake in her overly-fattened-for-a-size-14 face. Size 14 is the size of her, use-to-be-so-fat self that she ate 10 candy bars a day. They dripped from her purse. She stuffed them in every corner of her room. She was a fatty fat fatso who couldn't help but eat like an idiot.

If I ate like that, I assure you, I'd weigh even more than I do now, and I don't wear a size 14. I don't eat like that at all. I eat a lot. I'm not in denial. If I didn't start watching what I ate now, I'd probably end up eating that way in a few years. I mean, people don't wake up and decide to be food hogs. We overeat a bit, then gain weight. Then we overeat for that size, then gain weight. It's a cycle.

But...even if I did gain that much weight, I wouldn't hoard candy bars. I'd probably eat a mountain of mashed potatoes, and go back for more. That's my fat girl style. I'm not the cake kind of girl. Just saying.

So, to start gaining weight is easy for women. Food in the market, at the restaurants and anywhere in general is a culinary pornography of stuff that's just not realistic. And we are attracted to it, but it's not realistic for us on a regular basis. Cheese? I mean, have you looked at the calories in just a slice of cheese? I mean, you can eat a bowl of plain cereal in nonfat milk for breakfast, drink water all day,and have two slices of whole wheat bread with just one slice of cheddar cheese for lunch and have already eaten over 500 calories that day. Drink water for the rest, no butter on your veggies and no more bread, and you might be okay for dinner. Oh, no yogurt for dessert, you fat cow.

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31 December 2011

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
86.2 kg	9.1 kg	24.9 kg	Reasonably Well

Add Comment Losing 3.2 kg a Week

29 December 2011

So, I'm exercising and reducing my calories, and I wake up to a 4 lb increase this morning. I'm really hoping it's some sort of water weight fluctuation. Ugh.

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29 December 2011

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
87.1 kg	8.2 kg	25.9 kg	Reasonably Well

Add Comment Gaining 1.6 kg a Week

25 December 2011

I know how to be normal, I guess. As long as I don't do seconds, or overdo the bad stuff, I tend to stay squarely where I should calorie-wise. Maybe I just want an excuse. It is difficult to change. I do feel hunger pangs here and there, but that's only because I've allowed myself to grow.

It's not some genetic anomaly.

I'm not starving.

I just need to re-learn normal healthy behaviors...and it doesn't matter whether I did this on my own accord or not.

Even if my own overeating is my own fault, I know that it doesn't make my whole self a lazy glutton.

I hope others feel the same as I do. It's not easy, but it's not impossible. We can own it, but we can change it. And even if we own it, it doesn't make us entirely bad folks. A lot of people have not-so-healthy habits, but those habits don't always result in a socially unacceptable form.

By the way, why is it that men can be quit over weight, but a woman is shunned when she is only a few pounds heavier then her lowest healthy weight parameter? Very large men get flack, but very few who are only 10 or 15 lbs overweight have to feel humanly inadequate. Just a thought. People are interesting, in deed.

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