itistime26's Journal

36 to 40 of 43

Page: Previous ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 Next

11 September 2009

Food is a horrible little monster !

Well sweets are and all that fast fried food. I love food. I love everything about food. I love cow tongue taco to heavenly Ben in Jerry ice cream. I don't care how nasty it sounds, my only question is it fried in sugar? I love sugar!

I am fat, I am 230 pounds of pure big tire belly fat. I have a wonderful well built husband. My husband works out and is a fitness pro. He looks like a better built statue of david with bright blue eyes...sexy!!!

The Fat story...

My son had open house yesterday, all the teacher's mouths dropped. One of the teacher comes up to him( my husband) and says Your #### Dad? My husband proudly says yes. Than a parent ask your #### Dad? Than the icing on the cake a teacher whisper in my ear You married a Hottie!

Yes we are a shocking couple, lard butt with super hero. I get it. I tired of the fattness. My husband and I have a great relationship but I tired of people thinking we aren't together or it a shock we are together.

My sweet husband notice me being a little uncomfortable by all the attention he was getting, so he held on to my huge butt the whole time tightly and kiss me every 3 mintues ....

I am blessed but man 145 I need you now!

(3 comments)

07 September 2009

I have a Carb Party!

My husband came home saturday and I did good but sunday and monday, not so good. I had my full of super fatty high carb foods. I have feel sick and horrible. I thought I would enjoy it but I didn't. I guess my body is use to the low cal-low carb deal. I back on track now and forever. The feeling that I got from eatting those horrible foods not worth it!

Ok so I am 233, my goal this friday 229? I am still hoping to be 199 by the 30th...wishful thinking.

(1 comment)

05 September 2009

I worked out today while finishing the movie "The Notebook". I hate romantic films but when my husband is gone I seem to watch them. I guess I watch them because I miss our romance. He tells me he loves me and he tries to stay in contact when he can but I miss seeing him. I miss the way he looks at me and smiles. I miss the little physical things, of course I miss the sex but that’s not what I mean. I miss just being able to look at him.

Noah and Allie, what a timeless tale. Allie was lucky she had two men that really loved her and chose one. I guess she loved both of them but had to figure out which one was the real thing.

In my teen life I have had crushes and hope that I would be in love one day. I thought in high school I had found it with Russell, a tall skinny puck rocker. I would look forward to our time together. It was a friendship and we both didn't realize that we liked each other. That it could be love or anything interesting like that. We played it like a high school drama and he was the lost love in heart, so I thought.

Russell left for college two years before me but we always ran into each other. I always had the hope we would end up together until one day. One day I was walking and thinking I will be always a lone only if Russell loved me or would say he loved me. What I didn't know at the time Russell wanted me just as bad as I thought I wanted him. What do you expect from two anti-social teens? While I was walking thinking I would be by myself for ever. A tall dark haired man walked by and as he moved pass me my heart skip and beat. I said out loud that he would love me forever and I him, luckily he didn't hear me.

Well, this lovely dark hair man was my college math teacher, I found this out on my first day of math class. He was just a couple years older than me but man was he beautiful. I failed math three times so I got to know him well. I asked him out but he opted for friendship. I was already in love with him and by that summer he was madly in love with me. It also help that he tutored me in math and we spent every moment we could together. We could talk for hours, he knew me so well and I him. I had never felt what I felt for him before. I thought I knew love.

I didn't know what love was until I met my Husband. The love a man has for a women. The love a man has when he wants to spend the rest of his life with you is what I felt with him. I loved him. I love him. I loved the man that took 5 months just to kiss me, well I was not waiting any longer so I kissed him. He was and is my first love and I his. He was my first real boyfriend and shockly I was his first girlfriend. We were eachothers first real kiss...yeah lots of first! More important than first is that I know, that we know we will be eachother last as-well.

I was 180 in size 16 when we met and by time we married I was around 300 pounds. He thought I was the best thing in world weight and all. Real love is different from anything in the world and it can stand the test of time and hardship. I was blessed to find real love, true love and no matter what that it will always be.

What about Russell? Russell was my friend and I saw him from time to time. We both realized over the years that it was perfect that we never became more. That we didn't end up together and married. We weren't really enlove with each other; we loved the idea of having the company of a great friend. We loved not being alone. We liked each other. I haven't talked to old Russ in awhile, he is married now. I am married and joyously so. I glad I met Russ because he gave me a true example of what love wasn't.

I worked out today on the treadmill, deep in my thoughts and watching this silly movie. When I saw the end all I could think about was my husband. How much my husband loved me and I loved him.

I tell myself I need to lose weight because I want to be sexy to him. I want people to see this beautiful well built muscular man and not assume the fat lady walking next to him isn't with him. I have beat up myself and self -worth base on silly things. My husband loved me and loves me skinny or fat. I don't need to lose weight for him, he isn't going anywhere.

I need to lose weight for myself. I want to be healthy. I want to run with him in the morning and be able to keep up. I want to play with my kids and not get tired. I want to go thift store shopping and find vintage clothes that fit me!

When I think about weight-loss, I think about loving me the way my husband loves me. The way my mother and sister love me, the way my grandparents love me, the way my son and daughter love me. I want to look in the mirror and see what they have been seeing all these years

I can do this; I can do this for me! I deserve this!

Add Comment

04 September 2009

well my finally weigh in for this week, it friday and I weighed myself just before I go work out. I am happy and I am almost at 220's that something to celebrate! Ok, my next weigh in will be friday but if my nerves get the best of me it will be sooner or the saturday.

Add Comment

03 September 2009

I decided to weight myself today and I was at 236.I am also on monthly so I don't know how that will change later.

Add Comment

itistime26's Weight History

View Complete History