Register
|
Sign In
South Africa
Search:
Foods
Recipes
Fitness
Members
My Fatsecret
Foods
Recipes
Fitness
Community
Community
Members
Evolveordietrying
Journal
Evolveordietrying's Journal
Evolveordietrying's Profile
|
Weight History
16 to 20 of 20
Page:
Previous
1
2
3
4
13 August 2015
My body shut down today. I'm not exactly sure what happened. I just slept through most of the day. My neck and shoulders were on fire with pain whenever I was awake, which was not for very long. I managed to go swimming yesterday, but today was just a total loss. On the other hand I didn't really eat either. I feel out of it. I think it was due to my various medications but I'm not sure what's happening...maybe I need a dose adjustment. I'm sad I missed swimming today. I am really having a lot of fun in the pool. Sadly, it's kind of the highlight of my day. Being sick and unemployed hasn't done much for my social life. Hopefully, I'll just hit the restart button tomorrow. I've gone swimming 7/12 days of August. I'm pleased with that.
(2 comments)
10 August 2015
Yesterday, I fell prey to my old habits. One thing I am keenly aware of is that if I stay up late at night, I will eat. I will eat, and I will eat the stupidest things. So that's what I did. I was doing really well all day and then boom, the late night eating took over. I was super disappointed in myself especially since I had worked so hard all day to maintain. Today was better, I ended up going swimming and I didn't stuff my face, so that's good. I'm still having trouble with breakfast. I have a real hard time eating in the morning because I'm never hungry in the mornings, but that just leads to over-eating at night, when I'm not active and then everything I eat just sits in my stomach until the morning...when I'm not hungry. Big surprise, right? Yeah, I know. It's weird that we can be conscious about our bad habits and yet go right on doing them as if our minds are somehow able to look the other way for a second! Training my body is not the problem, I actually rather enjoy exercise, it's trying to train my mind that has proved to be the real challenge.
(4 comments)
09 August 2015
I told my partner about my plan yesterday. He seemed supportive. I feel better today, but I'm not sure if I will have a chance to exercise. I will be walking a bit, but that doesn't feel like enough. I know I should take brakes too, but then it feels like a slippery slope. I think it's best to maintain a steady keel ahead. If I start to miss days this early, it will be out of control soon. I need an exercise sponsor!
It's a gorgeous day outside so I'm glad to enjoy it. I made two bad food decisions yesterday, and one high calorie one today, but I'm not sweating that. If I don't make it to the pool today then I'm definitely going to set the calorie bar much lower than needed. Today, I feel a little more like I can face these challenges. It's still overwhelming and frightening, but I have to do it. This is my preoccupation now, and that's alright. It has to be in the forefront of my mind. The difficult part is that it's emotionally painful to look in the mirror. Seeing myself makes me so depressed. I'm unrecognizable. And it's not just because beauty and youth have faded, it's because I look sick. I look ill and unhealthy.
I really don't want to miss swimming today. I feel pressured to hang out with my partner because he's got a rare day off...I also don't want to go out in public. The shame and blame and self-loathing is so ever present and so difficult to keep at bay. I know it isn't helping the situation, but it is what's going on.
(2 comments)
08 August 2015
Day 1. It feels like every day is day one. This is overwhelming. I've tried not to think about how long this is going to take because that's the most painful part of this journey. I've never had to do this before, not in this drastic way, where the consequences of failing are linked to my survival. I'm scared that I won't do it. I'm not scared that I can't, I'm scared that I won't. I'm deathly afraid of self-sabatoge. Since being ill has left me with few friends and support, I am feeling isolated and hopeless. Yet I know, that if I don't pull myself out of this hole, no one else will. So because I haven't completely given up on myself, I am going to do this. It must be done, or I don't get to live very long.
(2 comments)
08 August 2015
Weight:
Lost so far:
Still to go:
Diet followed:
83.9 kg
0 kg
27.2 kg
Not Applicable
Add Comment
Evolveordietrying's Weight History
View Complete History