Berly1023's Journal, 12 Apr 18

My friend lost like 40 pounds on that 8/16 diet. It seems like a legit thing, but really hard for a working person to do. He doesn't have a 9-5 so he can make his own rules. If I were to do that I could not have my morning coffee. I live for my morning coffee. I sometimes only get outta bed because I dream of that fresh brewed cup of Starbucks dark roasted liquid gold. I have always loved coffee for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid my grandfather used to take me to Baskin Robbins and of all the flavors available to me I used to choose coffee. He used to laugh and tell me I was a different sorta kid. I don't think you can deny yourself things that's why I like the calories in calories out diet most of all. I do try to keep it lower on the carb and higher on the protein side but I don't deny myself a good slice of pizza now and then. Emphasis on the good. However that does lead me to my recent revelation, emphasis on the good, the tasy the loved. Have you ever eaten something and then wondered why you have eaten something that you really didn't like?
I was very successful 2 years ago before my hip replacement at loosing weight. I pretty much taylored my own diet to meet my needs. I counted my calories, aimed for the lower carbs without depriving myself, went to the gym 2-3 times per week and ate clean as I could. I was doing really well until the surgery. I got very anxious and scared and ate everything in site. Afterward I refocused for a bit but I had get back to work probably sooner than I should have. Then a slipped disc in my back kept me nearly bed ridden for almost 6 weeks. I spiraled totally outta control. Now I am moving forward and trying to get back to that point that I was doing so well and not feeling as if I was even dieting. Eating clean isn't to hard for me I love to cook and I don't see the point in buying it boxed when I can make it myself. So what else was I doing that was impeding my reduction. I realize that I ate foods I didn't even like. I was one of those kids raised to clean your plate. Now I know this is just the way it was done and my parents and grandparents meant no harm but I did as I was told and never developed a sense of what I liked. I liked food even as a child so it wasn't really hard to get me to eat. I also think I began emotional eating at young age so to be told to clean my plate or else, the logical thing to do was to clean the plate and avoid the conflict. But there are a lot of foods I just don't like. Hot dogs and macaroni and cheese for instance. Don't like them together or apart. Baked or fried or whatever I just don't like it. I know totally unAMerican of me. Lemony things except for real lemons, don't give me lemon cakes, cookies or pies. My mom and I go shopping every two weeks and she is in shock when I say "I don't really like that." because most of my life I ate it for various reasons. Maybe I did't want to insult who ever was offering it to me. Maybe that's all there was and everybody else was eating it, or maybe I wasn't given a choice. No matter, now I am big and able to make my own decisions. I have to weigh my options, is it worth eating and adding to my calorie count if it is something I really don't care for. Well if its that or starve I suppose so, but I doubt I'll starve to death any time soon. I never even noticed this was something I did until I was analyzing by calorie intake for awhile. We have snacks and lunches at work and there have been some days I had to decide if I just wanted to eat for the sake of eating or did I want to wait until I got home to eat a nice juicy steak. Looking around at the buffet of food I didn't really care for much that was there, and some of what was there tasted like ass, no disrespect but not everyone can cook. I put a puff pasty in my mouth and spit it back out it was awful. Point is I spit it back out. There was a time I would choke it down even if I didn't like it. There was a time I would pile my plate full even if there wasn't that much I found appealing. I don't know exactly why this was my normal behaviour but it was. My friend and I plan meals or go out to eat quite often especially during the summer and I used to go along with whatever she wanted to eat. Then I started to let her know, I just don't like that. I don't make a fuss I don't chastise her for eating it I just explain why I don't like it and leave it at that. I surprise myself sometimes because for years I ate it and now I can say I don't like that, even if it makes me seem like a freak because 90% of the rest of the world loves it.....or do they?????

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1432 kcal

Fat: 84.97g | Prot: 55.52g | Carbs: 123.47g.   Breakfast: Butter, Sour Dough Bread, Coffee with Cream and Sugar. Lunch: Walgreens Natural Premium Mixed Nuts No Salt, Oberto Original Beef Jerky. Dinner: Skippy Natural Super Chunk Peanut Butter, Croissant. more...

3834 kcal

Exercise: Resting - 16 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...