missleanne1's Journal, 08 Apr 22

You are a beautiful person who deserves the right to be treated with respect and dignity, keep your head up and eventually things will work out...I know your pain xx❤️ 

Just Sucks xx 

Ah! Difficult… its his Dad… but I understand- do you celebrate a person who’s alive or one who isn’t. BUT ITS HIS DAD…. You might have to just take the back seat and enjoy a 41st party , it could be a new trend…. Or even a 42nd (double 21st!!) hey yeah! Start planning!! 

It does but keep the faith, things will work themselves out xx 

I feel selfish just thinking it im upsetting myself even more about it  

Why should you feel selfish? Because you have needs and want to feel special? You have every right to want that, don't get yourself worked up over that, you should have that, I talk from experience so I know what it was like to have felt that. You know what you want, no shame in that xx 

He's drinking more calling me useless and I can't say or do anything right at moment x 

birthdays come every yr its not every yr you lose your dad. hope you have nice birthday and he also feels supported  

This is more than you vs his dad who just died. Don’t blame him too much. Imagine it was your Dad… its very hard. For TWO WEEKS be kind, understanding, you back seat, him, his Dad’s memory, funeral, everything, let it be number one and help everywayyoucan. He’s your man, you must support him when he’s at his lowest. Do this, then later, he can support you WHEN HE CAN COPE WITH IT…. Give and take , but you’ll be giving much more atm, it will even out 

I completely understand, if he doesn't normally treat you like crap then give him a pass but only for a short period of time. You are not selfish.... Unfortunately you can't choose when someone dies. Don't forget you knew his father to, so you are probably grieving! And that is why you feel a bit depressed.....I had a really crap 40th....lied to everyone at work saying I did this and that.... But I vowed to have a great 41st and in 8 weeks that is what I will have.... Its just a number who said 40 has to be celebrated what about 41,42,43 and so on... remember getting old is a privilege! Take some time for yourself have a couple of hours doing what makes you happy treat yourself with kindness x 

I lost my mum, my husband was very patient but I no I wasn't the best person to be round, as its ur birthday it's unfortunate its fell on that, maybe u could celebrate it a little later when things have settled down it won't be the day but it means it's not been forgotten either xz 

U have to let him grieve his own way. I know it's rubbish for ur birthday but birthdays come and go. my brother died 2 weeks b4 my 40th under very tragic and unforseen circumstances . which I won't go into. it took me a year to really start to get over it. my partner at the time couldn't have been more supportive and patient. if you care about him try and think how he must be feeling. and for u too as u must have known and had a relationship with him. me must take care of ourselves and the ppl we love x 

I lost my dad back in 2003 I went off rails and he wasn't supportive I got myself back on track sorry for sounding like a brat just having a hard time in my own head  

U don't sound like a brat. Sometimes when we're struggling we just don't have it in us to empathise with others. Look after yourself first then it will be easier to look after others xx 

Maybe ur grief for ur dad is resurfacing?? Its definitely a difficult time for u all xx 

He lost his nan yesterday as well 😐  

Hell. Ur having a right time of it ain't ya? Big hugs sweetie xx 

Not much fun in my house no and even work has me questioning why im still there 😐 xx 

Sending u a massive hug xx 

I like this group because it is really supportive maybe if you tell us your birthday we could all right something special to celebrate you x