Weezie57's Journal, 25 Jan 21

im sorry he hurt your feelings, that sucks! do you have any puzzels - i hated them until covid, we have done a ton since 

hey hon. maybe not my place but we're dumb. what can I say. a wise man once told me if we don't hear the whispers we have to hear the screams. I did this same thing with my wife. she was crying out and I didn't hear it. now there's a huge mess. I'm sorry. I will pray for strategies for you guys. I got so wrapped in work I didn't do that for my marriage. maybe find a way in neutral ground to gently explain how much it means to you and it's. it not about the activity it's the time spent? idk. my wife says she tried I just wouldn't hear it. which is a good possibility I didn't.  

When you are less upset maybe share how you feel with him. Maybe there is something else you guys can do together-ask for his input. It is OK to feel this way.  

How old are these grand kids? Are they around at night or whenever you might all have time to get together? Is it specifically cards your husband objects to or the whole concept of “games”. If the kids are willing try Parcheesi— it is a great cut throat game that a lot of families have gotten hooked on. Another fun game for at least 4 people is called Phase 10. I know these are tough times and unless you can come up with something that can encompass the family you become isolated even in your own ho,e. 

It ALMOST sounds like he wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. I've been with someone for 15 years and let me tell you, he can me CLUELESS about his comments sometimes (insert eye roll here). I'm sure you can come up with other creative ideas to spend time together. Maybe a couple of nights a week he can pick out an activity for you all to do. 

Yatzee and Scrabble are good choices if he likes to use his brain. Just a thought. Are walks together not in the cards! Pun intended. We all need a bit of fun. I know this is very serious to you. Hope you can find middle ground. Covid hasn't been easy on so many families and people who are alone. 

It’s ok to vent. Best weight loss tool ever. Just explain to him like you did to us. Men aren’t always as clued into feelings as we might hope. 

Oh I'm so sorry this happened. It sounds like you've been married many years if you're raising your grandkids. Covid, teenagers and husband's inconsiderate comments do not make for a fun time. There's alot of good suggestions given here in the comments. The fact that you're husband actually expressed that doesn't like playing cards all the time, shows that he is willing to talk about how he feels. If you choose to talk this out with him, maybe once he understands how his being honest is appreciated, just not in that direct manner, you both can come up with some activities you can share together. Maybe he just wants addional activities added to the mix. I sure hope his words did not wound you too deeply. I have learned over the 40 years of marriage, that although I cannot control what is said to me, I am in control of how I respond, even if I have to sit with the situation for a few days. And yes, it's perfectly fine to vent here. ❤  

My suggestion....if Hubby says sometimes he doesn't feel like playing cards....tell him you just want to spend time with him...what would he like to do? Maybe suggest a walk outside, find a TV show you both enjoy to watch together, cook a meal together. And, maybe you should talk to your doctor. There are ways to be intimate without actually having sex as you know it. 

Sounds like some great ideas from everyone. Maybe your hubs will play most nights, just not every night? Even though its hard to hear, it's great he let you know his true feelings. Hopefully you can find a satisfactory compromise. Hugs. 

It's okay to vent here Weezie, I do it all the time and the wonderful people on this site always lift me up. Sounds like lots of good advice given here, all I would add is that you tell him how it makes you feel when he says these things to you. (((HUGS))) 

So appreciate your honesty. Hope it felt better to get it out. That way I feel like I don’t have to stuff it down. 

What would he like to do? Go for a drive to a special spot and sit, just talk to each. Go for walk. Hold hands. It’s the little things that count. 🤗❤️ 

Thank you all for the great idea. I not sure if he likes Yahtzee or not. But maybe that would be an idea!!