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Well, got my 2 week supply of MediFast today, so I'll likely start on it tomorrow. I'll keep up here to let you know how the stuff tastes and any other tips I come across. I decided to go on the 2 week run instead of the 4 week just to make sure it worked for me and I was comfortable doing it (not having side effects like exhaustion etc).
I decided to go for MediFast because of a few reasons, I studied up on it firstly because I want to make the right choice and not just keep bumbling around and taking ages getting back to the weight I'm comfortable at. It's been 11 years since I was at a weight I felt good at, I allowed depression and apathy to give me an excuse to just expand. Being this fat is all my fault. Making it right is all my responsibility.
Thankfully I've always been very healthy despite the blubber, my doctors have always been horrified to find that I don't have raging cholestorol or blood pressure. So I'm not trying to loose weight because I'm under threat of death, in fact I've been told that physically I'm as healthy as if I was at normal weight aside from my slight asthma which I've had since I was about 12.
But I hate not being able to wear the clothes I want too, or feel comfortable with people looking at me without ad-libbing their thoughts "OMG look at her flab flapping all over the place!" and feeling shamefull for being in the sight of "normal" people. I want to feel worthy of my husbands love and desire, instead of feeling like he's kindly tolerating this substandard form because he likes whats on the inside (I KNOW that's not what he feels or thinks, but that doesn't change what I worry about). I don't have any excuses to allow myself to get away with all of this jello. I have however every possible reason to loose it. I want to not be afraid of having my photograph taken, I want to be able to recognise the face I see in pictures as the one I see in my minds eye, not the puffy potato with beady eyes.
So... here goes!
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